How to Introduce Your Partner To Financial Independence

Our Tips for Retiring Early Together

It could be the best conversation that you ever have with your partner. Or it could be the conversation that launches a thousand fights. It’s that important moment when you share with your partner the exciting concept of financial independence that you’ve just discovered and try to sell in the idea of retiring early together.

It’s possible that your partner has never even heard of this concept, which was the case for me a couple years ago when Gillian started raising the topic of retiring early. Or, if they have heard of it, they may associate financial independence with being extremely frugal and denying yourself material comforts and luxuries over a long period. Or maybe they don’t see the point of retiring early because they are invested in their career and want to continue building it, which was the case for me.

Whatever the situation — and whether or not you’re planning to retire early — it’s important for couples to be on the same page when it comes to their finances.

And even if your finances aren’t combined, as in keeping separate bank accounts, the decisions one person makes about their lifestyle and goals will inevitably affect both people. There was a time when the two of us were not on the same page about financial independence and retiring early…and it took a lot of discussion to finally get there.

So what do you do if you have discovered the concept of financial independence and want to retire early? How do you educate your partner and convince them of the benefits?

Shared vision

Before you overwhelm your partner by talking about confusing terms like the 4% rule and safe withdrawal rates, we recommend keeping it simple. Start by opening up a conversation about what your future together could look like. You can each share what your ideal life would be and then come up with your shared vision as a couple. Prompt them to think beyond their current circumstances….if they weren’t tied to their job or location, what would a dream life for the two of you look like?

This is a good time to introduce financial independence, not as a goal in itself but as an enabler of your ideal future together. Your shared vision could be lived sooner if you no longer had to work for a living. Coming up with a vision for the future is a key step in the financial independence journey, which we talk about in this video:

Attitudes towards money

Next it’s important to have a conversation about your attitudes and practices related to money. Money and financial management can be delicate topics for some people and often come with a lot of baggage and family history. By getting these issues out in the open, you can better understand and respect the other person’s perspective. You’ve also laid the groundwork to have more productive money conversations in the future.

In our household, we came at money from very different perspectives. I wasn’t exactly frivolous with money but I would easily pay a bit extra for a brand name product. On the other hand, Gillian had always been extremely frugal and would choose generic products every time. By openly talking about our differences, we’ve been able to find common ground.

Introduce to relatable resources

Another one of the ways to open up your partner’s mind to financial independence is to let them discover it at their own pace. You can do this by introducing relatable bloggers, vloggers or podcasters — someone who has a similar background or life goals. This is a great way to get them immersed in real life examples of people working towards or living a financially independent lifestyle.

Gillian tried to have a number of conversations with me about financial independence but it was only when she pointed me in the direction of a few blogs and podcasts that I finally became receptive to the concept and started to research on my own. A few of the blogs that I enjoyed during my early days of discovery were:

…but of course there are a multitude of blogs available and you can easily find one or two that would appeal to your partner.

Take small steps

If it seems like your partner is coming around to the idea of taking a new approach to financial management, we suggest getting started with small steps. A good one to start with could be tracking your spending. This means logging all your purchases, large or small, so that you know where every dollar is going. Once you do this for a few months, you’ll learn a lot about your spending habits as individuals and as a couple.

It can be quite illuminating to see your own spending patterns and it can spark conversation about what you might want to change about your shared lifestyle. If you want to learn more about everything you gain by tracking your spending, take a look at this video:

When we started tracking our spending, we were shocked to see how much we were spending on dining out and takeaway. And the worst part was it had become so habitual that we weren’t even getting that much enjoyment and value from the experiences. Seeing those totals added up was just the reality check we needed to become more proactive in our money decisions.

Moving forward together

As you move forward together, your partner might need a little space to digest all the new ideas. Whether or not you agree on making financial independence a goal, you’ve at least had open conversations about financial management, which you can build upon.

If your partner is now on board with the idea of retiring early, we suggest scheduling regular check-ins to discuss finances as well as your big life goals. But maybe your partner doesn’t want to retire early perhaps because they are committed to their career. Consider how you can ease into early retirement while your partner continues to work; it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Money conversations

Now for the one thing that can really help your money conversations: speak to your partner in a language they can understand.

If your partner values words or ideas, don’t overwhelm them with spreadsheets. Describe the concepts instead; paint a picture with words of what your life could look like in early retirement. If your partner is very analytical and needs to see numbers to understand financial independence, that’s when you can break out the spreadsheets to make your case.

How to Introduce Your Partner To Financial Independence